Relationships

You get so alone at times that it just makes sense….. Charles Bukowski

What did he mean when he wrote that? I’m alone at the moment because the person I was sharing with has left.  Nothing new there. It must be me. Ha! look at my history its not surprising. I give up doomed to walk alone but does it make sense? Well ultimately we are all alone. Is this what he meant?

I awoke to a message saying “ok” and a poem

I woke and a single tear fell slowly
as I fumbled on the floor to find
the clothes I wore before I met you.

I feel the love running away
like rain water,
building to a flood that I cannot stop.

I watch sunlight trickle through the trees
and wash the floor in light.

And that is love
bright
sharp
beautiful

and soon it will be dark and the love will be gone.

I expected “Remember you are loved” but got “ok” instead.  Self harm is a feature of my illness, but now I use a metaphorical knife to running across the wrists. This is done painfully in the dark hours of the night; I cannot sleep and when I do nightmares rule.

I cry.

So thats it?  No more love?

And soon it will be dark and love will be gone……..

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YouTube Erratum

Don’t know what is wrong with YouTube embed code???? Anyway here is a link to the video Sorry about that. Will try putting in the embed code again.

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Sigh

Blogged in NowChangeYourLife.WordPress.com and eCollege.me:

 
Crashed three times in the middle of recording a video, sigh. Updated my eCollege dot me site . Crashed another couple of times. Sigh. Then I looked at the clock and it was two minutes to six, I had forgotten to pick up my meds ( don’t worry I have a stash). Sigh. A nice cup of coffee will help but shit remembered I had bought the cheap stuff to save money which I don’t like, stupid! Sigh. Then sent my daughter out to get cream for the christmas pudding that was on sale. The cream cracked in her rucksack and went everywhere. Sigh. So to cheer myself up I updated my eCollege site.Do have a look. I’ve included the post here for my subscribers to this blog.

Been having a troublesome day so……..

I thought I would cheer myself up with some Art. I am more ignorant of Art than I care to mention but I know what I like. Perhaps the most famous paintings I have seen were in the Uffizi gallery in Florence my favourite city in Europe. Of note there is Botticelli’s Venus on a Half Shell:

Botticelli's Birth of Venus reworked on the website annautopiagiordano.it Florence is so beautiful, the square with the statue of David ie wonderful. To sit in the square in an outdoor café, a little stoned, sipping Campari Sodas. Yes sipping because the point is to be with the ambiance without breaking the bank. to be smartly dressed is a must otherwise you will be given a table inside. You have to look cool. You should look like one of The Beautiful People, aging perhaps but aging gracefully. The fact we were camping on the side of hill 5 miles outside town need not be mentioned. The thing is wherever you go you have to blend in. Myself with my 25 year old slim, leggy Japanese wife (well she won’t read this but one of the reasons I married her not because her dad was a millionaire, nor that she had an IQ off the scale but because John Lennon had a Japanese wife; the coolest man ever. ) blended.

Oh dear aren’t I awful. Ooops. Back to Art. You do realise that all Art is generally available on the ‘net? So there is no excuse. Of course, if you must and the fact you are technophiles, you can make it a technology. So I love Kandinsky and below is a slider of his work.

 

[hislider id=”1″]

Unfortunately HiSlider only works on a self hosted WordPress site. So here is a promo video of the site. I have just learned to use annotations. What do you think?

 

I love the colours and the integrity. Above should be for reference only – i just love moving pictures.

Nota Bene

I know how to be buy a computer. Probably I got used to people ignoring the box that did all the work but calling the monitor the computer, anyway I bought my first proper computer in 1994. It cost a fortune because i spent half the total price on a 17 inch monitor. You see you spend all your time in front of your monitor, the fastest and biggest computer need not be viewed through a 15 inch monitor. I have a 22 inch wide screen monitor and I run at resolution of 1920 x 1080. Makes sense to me. I live in front of my computer as my environment is not conducive to perambulations. You might find my graphics a tad large but to me they are normal. For example my signature is 36pt.

 

philipBut to me its ok. A signature should be a tad flamboyant. I have said in Essential Free Graphics how important it is to have a good graphics program without spending months or years on Adobe Photoshop. All my stuff comes from Expression Design from Microsoft. The studio was selling a good few hundred euro but I don’t know why they stopped selling it but now its free. It does the job.

I created :

pennypedestalsign

I did it all except for photoshopping the background of Penny the cat. you can get the rest of the story Not Another Kitten dot com. ” Tails from The Kitten Shop” a damn good read.

Thanks

philipsm

See? (I can do small!!!!)

Thats the end of a very trying day!! Thanks for your time!
 

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