You get so alone at times that it just makes sense….. Charles Bukowski
What did he mean when he wrote that? I’m alone at the moment because the person I was sharing with has left. Nothing new there. It must be me. Ha! look at my history its not surprising. I give up doomed to walk alone but does it make sense? Well ultimately we are all alone. Is this what he meant?
I awoke to a message saying “ok” and a poem
I woke and a single tear fell slowly
as I fumbled on the floor to find
the clothes I wore before I met you.
I feel the love running away
like rain water,
building to a flood that I cannot stop.
I watch sunlight trickle through the trees
and wash the floor in light.
And that is love
and soon it will be dark and the love will be gone.
I expected “Remember you are loved” but got “ok” instead. Self harm is a feature of my illness, but now I use a metaphorical knife to running across the wrists. This is done painfully in the dark hours of the night; I cannot sleep and when I do nightmares rule.
So thats it? No more love?
And soon it will be dark and love will be gone……..