You get so alone at times that it just makes sense….. Charles Bukowski

What did he mean when he wrote that? I’m alone at the moment because the person I was sharing with has left.  Nothing new there. It must be me. Ha! look at my history its not surprising. I give up doomed to walk alone but does it make sense? Well ultimately we are all alone. Is this what he meant?

I awoke to a message saying “ok” and a poem

I woke and a single tear fell slowly
as I fumbled on the floor to find
the clothes I wore before I met you.

I feel the love running away
like rain water,
building to a flood that I cannot stop.

I watch sunlight trickle through the trees
and wash the floor in light.

And that is love

and soon it will be dark and the love will be gone.

I expected “Remember you are loved” but got “ok” instead.  Self harm is a feature of my illness, but now I use a metaphorical knife to running across the wrists. This is done painfully in the dark hours of the night; I cannot sleep and when I do nightmares rule.

I cry.

So thats it?  No more love?

And soon it will be dark and love will be gone……..

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63 with the energy of a 25 year old the coolness of a 30 something and the wisdom knowing that hiding your light under a bushel is daft

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Everything is ok, went through a dark moment

  2. I am glad its ok, gives me hope for my own dark moments, and my own sense of aloneness.
    And I wonder, often, is it me? Is it just me? Or are there 2 people feeling the same, scared the same, and not quite finding the words?

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