Hyperconnectivity

how to tell if your agency is bullshitting you about social media

By • Sep 7th, 2009 • Category: Lead Story

So you’ve finally decided that you need to get into this strange, unfamiliar world of Social Media everyone’s talking about. I haven’t got a bloody choice, you grumble. My boss met the MD of our closest competitor the other day, and he was going on and on and on about Facebook. My boss was caught red-faced when he asked who the author of “the Face book” was.

It feels a little like that time when Spice Girls ruled the world and you were forced into listening to their shrieks about girl power everywhere you went, doesn’t it? Not to make you feel any more vintage than you already feel, but the Spice Girls domination was about 10 years ago.

You find yourself inviting your agency to ask for a presentation on Social Media and a proposal on how your brand can be marketed in this medium. Considering your minimal knowledge of this medium, how do you know if your agency is bullshitting you or not? Well let me, the web designer/advertising suit/ blogger/ digital strategist, tell you how.

1 | The habitual Googler
If you find yourself being shown 50 slides of social media statistics and 3 slides on execution ideas, you know that your agency knows as much as you do – that the medium is important, but they don’t know what the hell to do in that medium.

2 | The social media channel becomes the solution
A common recommendation goes something like this, “We will set a blog up, a Twitter account, and a Facebook fan page!” They don’t identify the problem you have in this medium, they don’t prescribe the solution as a result of not knowing the problem to begin with, but strangely enough, they have array of social media channels to recommend to you. Ask them this question – what do I do on my blog, Twitter account and Facebook fan page?

And no darling, like how your customers do not rush home to watch your TV commercials airing at 7pm, your customers online will not visit your blog to listen to you talk about you.

3 | Using plural with social media channels

Run the moment your agency says “Twitters”.

4 | Using buzz words
Run EVEN FASTER the moment your agency says “New Media”.  I agree with what consultant Marc Shelkin says about this term – it is used by agencies who haven’t realized that it isn’t new any more and don’t know what to call projects that aren’t print.


Social media marketing isn’t as complicated as empirical formula unlike what Ivory Tower wannabies want you to think.
Source: Preparatory Chemistry

5 | Spewing social media theories
If your agency’s leading man is too busy penning articles about social media and his theories on trade publications and dissing competitors off with words and not actual works, you should evaluate why you’ve engaged this agency in the first place. The problem with the social media theories penned by Ivory Tower wannabies is that in this unique medium, application is crucial for success. Try sending your boss a 3,000-word article from your agency as proof of a successful social media campaign. Let me know if he/ she buys that bullshit.

6 | Quoting the big boys
A common habit of agencies is to quote the likes of Jeremy Owyang, Brian Solis and Peter Kim one slide before the slide where they tell you “We will set a blog up, a Twitter account, and a Facebook fan page!”. Again, ask them this question – what do I do on my blog, Twitter account and Facebook fan page? Special thanks to my partner-in-crime Tania, for this point.

7 | They hire a blogger, and not a communicator, to be your digital strategist
Your 55-year-old Aunt Amy has a blog talking about her two dogs, Snoopy and Miffy. Will you hand her a 100 grand to market your brand online?

Anyone has anymore to add?

The views expressed on this blog are my personal opinion and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer or its clients

YEP ADDING HYPERCONNECTIVITY HERE!

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Now Host Your Site, Trust Me TED

 

No I won’t go on about EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A DOMAIN again. Just sayin I’ve done a site that is more global at http://nhys.biz  now host your site. More resurrections to rebuild my empire . Be ready tomorrow. So started it all off seriously in 2001 with this logo A gold Isis1 (Irish Secure Internet Services) carrying Irish Secure. Still looks good. 11 years later. The site was dominated by encryption, not heard much these day, people seem to be resigned to the fact that ALL their emails are read. Ho hum. There is no privacy so I don’t know why people want to be “private”. i can encrypt, I know the code. But why? I have nothing to hide. Lets ask what you think, a straw poll :

 

 

Moving on

I came across a great video you might like. Here it is :

I think this is all very exciting “Collaborative Consumption” We all have skills and I bet  they are marketable. my skills are setting up domains and WordPress blogs. And too web site design. I’ve given up the idea of making a fortune, the prices I charge (Domain registration is cost) are enough to keep things going. Like tens of thousands of others in the world e.g. Linux programmers, its the satisfaction of doing a good job and enriching peoples lives is what turns me on. This is my “Reputation Dashboard” . The Internet is vast, the amount of knowledge is endless. Social Networking has become the main driver behind so many people getting online for  longer and longer. I have a 24/7 connection high speed upload and download. With the advent of fiber optics connections from anywhere to anywhere will be instantaneous. YouTube for example will accept 2 gigabyte video files. The only place to effect change is through The Internet, a letter to your Congressman will not cut the mustard.

I set up this blog just over a month ago and have had over a thousand views. Not bad. You will also see I figure quite highly in the search engines. I love writing. Not especially good at it but love doing it. Wish people would leave comments so I get some feedback. Ho Hum. Hold The Presses. Breaking News. The Famous Avatar Dude Starship now has his own Domain called DudeStarship.com. He earned the €10 by hosting in second life. What a Dude a……..

P.S.

THANKS TO http://LightBulbJokes.com

Q: How many Bill Gates’ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.
Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
Q: How many MicroSoft tech support people dies it take to change a light bulb?
A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong…have you tried the light switch?
Q: How many MicroSoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to hammer the bulb into a faucet.Q: How many MicroSoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that MicroSoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many MicroSoft testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We just determine that the room is dark; we don’t actually change the bulb. Since we have a dead-bulb result on file from a previous test, rest assured that Development is working on a bug fix.

Q: How many MicroSoft shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7 to 10 working days. If you call before 2 PM, and pay an extra $15, we can get the bulb changed overnight. Don’t forget to put your name in the upper right hand corner of the light bulb box.

Q: How many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. But they’ll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy as it would be for a Mac user.

Q: How many MicroSoft managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We’ve formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to determine what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q: How many MicroSoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness(TM) as the new industry standard.

Note 1 Isis was worshipped as the ideal mother and wife as well as the patroness of nature and magic. She was the friend of slaves, sinners, artisans, and the downtrodden, and she listened to the prayers of the wealthy, maidens, aristocrats, and rulers.

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